Ratings for reviews will appear above the fold, while the review itself will appear below the fold to avoid spoilers for anyone that wants to go into it with a blank slate.

Jean-Paul’s rating: 3/5

Watching old people fight is mindlessly entertaining.

I saw the original “RED” movie.  I know this because my brother told me I did.  “RED 2”, I suspect, will have a similar lasting impression.  RED stands for Retired Extremely Dangerous.  Just like the acronym would suggest, it’s about a bunch of old fogies who used to be badass spies but are now out of the game.  And since there was a movie made, you can imagine how long they stay retired.  I believe it was about fifteen minutes.

The plot, as if it matters, surrounds an old U.S. government project to smuggle a nuclear weapon into Moscow.  Frank (Bruce Willis) and Marvin (John Malkovich) were security for the mad scientist, Bailey (Anthony Hopkins) who came up with the bomb back in the days when they weren’t RED.  They failed in their mission and the project was cancelled and buried.  Until, that is, when information on it gets leaked onto the Internet.  Although it’s not entirely clear, I think the various governments assume that Frank and Marvin have something to do with the leaks because they all suddenly hire assassins to kill them both as they try to unravel the mystery.

The rest of the movie is just shootout, chase scene, fight, witty banter, fight, witty banter, chase scene, background material, witty banter, capture, fight, escape, etc.  It doesn’t sound like much, but everything is perfectly enjoyable.  The action scenes are fast paced and enjoyable and the witty banter is well timed and, at times, quite funny.  The latter is due mostly to non-spy Sarah (Mary Louise-Parker) and her relationship with Frank.  We are treated to various scenes of assassins giving Frank relationship advice while dissolving bodies or while taking heavy fire.  Good stuff.

No, you probably won’t remember anything about this movie in a year’s time.  That’s not the point, though.  For two hours of your life, you will be entertained.  If you want more than that, see another movie, if not, “RED 2” is right for you.