This episode of Stupid Things Libertarians Say™ is brought to you by Ron Paul’s farewell address.  In it, he says:

Why have we allowed the federal government to regulate commodes in our homes?

Rand Paul must have heard his dad say this thousands of times growing up because he’s repeated it in Energy Committee Hearings:

The scary thing is there are millions of people in the United States that applaud this.  First off, who actually has ever had a toilet that didn’t work?  You do realize that you can hold down the plunger for a little while longer to allow more water to flush your massive dookie, right?  And really, should we be sending people to Congress that don’t know how to use a freaking toilet?

“But none of that matters!”, you say?  “Government shouldn’t be telling me what kind of toilet I should buy!”, you say?  Listen, this is not difficult.  Potable water is a limited natural resource.  It doesn’t obey state boundaries.  It doesn’t obey national boundaries.  It needs to be preserved.  Governmental regulations are all about preserving that water.  That’s it.  Flushing a toilet is an unfortunate, but necessary waste of water.  You shouldn’t be able to decide how much water you waste.  It is too precious.