One of the major train lines into the city was shut down this morning due to a suspicious package being found at one of the stops.  This, of course, got me to thinking about pornography.

If I were to make a porno, it would be called “Suspicious Packages”.  In it, a crack unit of the police force, all female of course, would be called in to investigate suspicious packages throughout the city.  The packages in question would be men just laying around in bus terminals, train stations, and airports.  The women would have to poke and prod them to try to figure out what makes them tick (Which we all know is an impossible task, am I right ladies?).  They would then have to work on “disarming” the men all while engaging in conversations about various feminist issues.  There would also be a guy that the women can’t figure out how to disarm and they would have to call in a specialist which would end up being a gay guy.  Because my pornos would be equal opportunity pornos.  There would be jokes about controlled explosions and premature ejaculation and such as well.  One of the guys would “explode” leading to the hospitalization of some of the ladies and they would have to go to the hospital to be nursed back to health.  Oh, and there just HAS to be a scene with a bomb disposal robot.

A sex-positive, female-positive, funny porno.  This really needs to be made.  Time to start writing a script!