It's the most horrible time of the year
With shoppers all yelling
You'll all hear me telling you "Get me a beer!"
It's the most horrible time of the year
It's the crap- crappiest season of all
The daytime is fleeting and why is it sleeting?
I feel I might bawl
It's the crap- crappiest season of all

This fake cheer's exhausting
These presents are costing me
Mountains and mountains of dough
And look, yet more stories
of sad Christian worries
That Christmas will soon be no mo'

It's the most horrible time of the year
The carols are blaring
My tolerance wearing
Insanity's near
It's the most horrible time of the year

This fake cheer's exhausting
These presents are costing me
Mountains and mountains of dough
And look, yet more stories
of sad Christian worries
That Christmas will soon be no mo'

It's the most horrible time of the year
The carols are blaring
My tolerance wearing
Insanity's near
It's the most horrible time
It's the most horrible time
It's the most horrible time of the year