Category Archives: Music

You’re Defending A Monument To Slavery 

       C           F           Am
You're defending a monument to slavery
  C        F                 G
I know you disagree but it's true
       C           F           Am
You're defending a monument to slavery
C             F              G
Please read a book and get a clue

     C        F              Am
Sure you can claim that it's history
    C              F            G
And that we should remember our past
        C              F            Am
But the source of that past ain't a mystery
     C      F              G
That statue commemorates a caste
     C            F         Am
That liked to own humans as property
    C         F            G
And started a war for that right
      C         F          Am
Until they were pushed out to the sea
      C           F         C    F    G
Never forget that the south LOST THAT FIIIIIGHT

       C           F           Am
You're defending a monument to slavery
       C           F           Am
You're defending a monument to slavery
       C           F           Am
You're defending a monument to slavery

 

Glycobiology Rap

In honor of my friend Gaurang obtaining his doctorate, I present to you the Glycobiology Rap!

My name is Gaurang Bhide but you may call me Doc G
For I just got my doctorate in glycobiology!
"What is that?", you ask, well it's really quite simple
The explanation of such is as easy as popping a pimple!
Glyco means sugar, it's tasty and it's sweet
But it really is a substance that you shouldn't overeat.
Then there's biology, the study of all life
There's the simple answer and it shouldn't cause you strife.

Put the two together and it's a little more complicated
For sugar and life intersect in ways you've never contemplated.
Sugars, you see, couple in ways that are many and varied
And there's magic that can happen when these molecules are rightly married.
And by magic, I mean science, because magic just ain't real
And that's the truth you suckas, no matter what your ass may feel.
Getting these guys together ain't as easy as you may think
That's why much of my job consists of cleaning bottles in a sink.

Glucose and fructose are some compounds that I manipulate
Into unique combinations with the hopes that I may demonstrate
From my cultures that I feed in the hopes that they will propagate
Applications that are practical and easy to duplicate
That's what I do and I hope I was able to inculcate
These ideas in your mind in a way that raised your interest rate.

 

Missus Ann Rand

*sung to the tune of Mister Sandman

** for any words in parenthesis, imagine Ayn Rand popping out the side of the screen correcting the pronunciation.

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Missus Ann Rand (Ayn), bring me a dream
Give me the best government that I've ever seen
Make it so only rich people are in charge
Then our economy will surely grow large
Ann Rand (Ayn), look at the poor
Let's take what they have and then show them the door
What a big bunch of moochers and fakers
Missus Ann Rand (Ayn) get me away from these takers

Missus Ann Rand (Ayn), let's run away
This government is toothless and full of decay
Let's take with us only the makers
And form a country filled with movers and shakers
Ann Rand (Ayn), here we'll call home
We'll build an empire more glorious than Rome
All the others will look on us with despair
While complaining that their life's not fair

Missus Ann Rand (Ayn), things are just swell
'cept for the riot that we had to quell
Just because there's not enough food
But besides that everything is good
Ann Rand (Ayn), you've got my back
You'll provide us with the things we lack
All we're missing now is clothes and shelter
Oh, and society's sort of gone helter-skelter

Missus Ann Rand (Ayn), we'll still pull through
We found a man who knows just what to do
He'll fix everything for merely a song
There isn't a thing that could possibly go wrong
Ann Rand (Ayn), our country's on fire
And our prospects are increasingly dire
It turns out that those who think they are makers
Are really some of the biggest of takers

Missus Ann Rand (Ayn), it's fallen apart
Turns out your ideas are not very smart
Why'd we think that we'd be able to build
A world in which our dreams would ever be fulfilled
Ann Rand (Ayn), Objectivism's sad
Because, you see, that the selfish are bad
Looking out for just number one
Is a thought that most other people will shun

Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

 

Hitting That High F

The woman you are about to listen to is Diana Damaru and she has the most amazing voice.  But it’s not even just that in this piece.  She’s also incredibly emotive when she’s singing, which is apparently quite rare for opera.  As my friend who is really in to this sort of thing said, operas are known as “park and barks”.  Which is hilarious.  This clip is of her playing the Queen of the Night in Mozart’s The Magic Flute (Die Zauberflöte) opera.  The song is called Hell’s Vengeance Boils In M y Heart, but like everything angry, it sounds better in German: Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen.  Every single time I listen to this piece I giggle with glee when she hits that high F note.  In fact, I’m giggling just thinking about it.  How in the world does that come out of the mouth of a human being?  Enjoy.

Ta-Nehisi Coates, Genius!

I don’t much follow the MacArthur Genius Grants because they tend to go to individuals for esoteric subjects that I don’t much care about.  This year is different because one of my favorite writers, Ta-Nehisi Coates, was granted a fellowship this year.  Coates has long been a person I would like in my neighborhood and he hasn’t disappointed me since.  Most people like to brag about how they were fans of a band back well before they were famous.  I’m like that with Ta-Nehisi Coates.

YOU SHOULD READ ALL THE THINGS! (Insert Hyperbole and a Half graphic here).  Seriously, Coates is required reading if you want to understand race relations in the U.S. today.  I recently finished “Between the World and Me” which is a masterpiece and should be read by everyone with a pulse.  It is heavy and deep and I’m waiting on a reread before I write my review because it’s a whole lot to take in.  In the meantime, if you haven’t read his two brilliant long form articles, “The Case for Reparations” and “The Black Family in the Age of Mass Incarceration“, you should do so.

I look forward to what Coates will do when unfettered by the shackles of worrying about a paycheck.  I expect great things from him.  As does he from himself.

And if that weren’t enough, Lin-Manuel Miranda also was awarded a fellowship this year.  Don’t know who he is?  Me either.  But, I recently posted about his new play, “Hamilton“, which debuted this year and it is well worth listening to the entire awesome soundtrack.  I wonder what he’ll come up with next.

When Is This Coming To Chicago?

There is currently a musical called “Hamilton” playing in New York.  It’s a retelling of Alexander Hamilton’s life set to rap. NPR has the entire soundtrack.  Listen to it.  It is spectacular.

Weird Al Is Back!

This will probably go down as one of his best songs.  “Word Crimes”, sung to the tune of “Blurred Lines”.  Brilliant!

[youtube http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc]

Sex Positivity Rocks!

This is possibly NSFW just because of what it is more than what is contained in the video.  The Dutch electronic music band ADAM produced a video for their song “Go to Go” with a bit of a twist. They attempted to sing the song as straight-faced and emotionless as possible while using a vibrator.  The result is a brilliant concept perfectly executed with highly amusing results:

[youtube http://youtu.be/3h37xswCoY0]

It’s a fun little pop song that starts with all three hitting their marks flawlessly but soon they start with the smiles as their bodies take over.  Soon they start missing their marks and then they start completely missing entire sentences.  Now someone needs to make a male equivalent.  That would probably be even funnier.

All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster!

The only good Christmas song, “Carol of the Bells”, gets the FSM treatment.  And it was good.

[youtube http://youtu.be/yiffJfYdZWg]

It’s The Most Horrible Time Of The Year 

It's the most horrible time of the year
With shoppers all yelling
You'll all hear me telling you "Get me a beer!"
It's the most horrible time of the year
It's the crap- crappiest season of all
The daytime is fleeting and why is it sleeting?
I feel I might bawl
It's the crap- crappiest season of all

This fake cheer's exhausting
These presents are costing me
Mountains and mountains of dough
And look, yet more stories
of sad Christian worries
That Christmas will soon be no mo'

It's the most horrible time of the year
The carols are blaring
My tolerance wearing
Insanity's near
It's the most horrible time of the year
This fake cheer's exhausting
These presents are costing me
Mountains and mountains of dough
And look, yet more stories
of sad Christian worries
That Christmas will soon be no mo'

It's the most horrible time of the year
The carols are blaring
My tolerance wearing
Insanity's near
It's the most horrible time
It's the most horrible time
It's the most horrible time of the year