Category Archives: Music

Two Websites To Rule Them All

What if I were to tell you that two websites accounted for over half of all Internet traffic?  Which two do you think it would be?  The answer?  Netflix and YouTube.  That is astounding.  There also seems to be a correlation between Netflix’s and YouTube’s rise and Bit Torrent’s fall.  Bit Torrent, for those of you who don’t know, is a piece of software responsible for a very large portion of the illegally downloaded music and movies.  Make movies and TV shows easily available for people to legally consume and they will legally consume them.  Don’t and they will steal it.  Simple as that.

That reminds me of The Oatmeal graphic that was recently posted:

movie

Epic Song Cover Of The Week

There are probably billions of song covers on YouTube.  None are as epic as this cover of Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” by Russia’s Red Army Chorus.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P08B_lBUL0E&feature=youtube_gdata_player]

Give ‘Em What They Want!

Kevin Spacey says something that I’ve been saying for a long time:

[youtube http://youtu.be/P0ukYf_xvgc]

People, in general, don’t want to steal.  They want to reward artists for their efforts.  They won’t do so if you put too many requirements on their purchases.  Most of what the music industry sells is crap and the package it with one good song and expect people to buy the whole crappy package.  Most of what the movie industry sells is crap and they want to dictate to you how and when you can watch their crappy product.  That’s why Netflix has been so successful.  Sure, a lot of their offerings are crap, but you can watch their crap at a time and place and device of your choosing.  People love watching crap, just look at how many Anime fans there are.  They will even be willing to pay for crap if you give them the freedom to watch it their way.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

This is too good/bad not to share.  There are many Metallica cover bands out there.  There are also Metallica songs with symphony orchestras.  But have you ever seen an a cappella version of a Metallica song?  Well, look no further!  I present you with a mostly a cappella version of “Battery.  It is equal parts cringe worthy and awesome:

[youtube http://youtu.be/BEwNrjvNiYs]

Baby’s First Mosh Pit

I like going to concerts every once in a while.  It reminds me of how much I dislike going to concerts.  Unless, of course, we’re talking about Osaka Orangeade Concern! Bring them back, bring them back! (Know your audience.)  It’s not because I dislike the music that I hate concerts.  It’s because concerts are mostly just noise.  If you don’t know the lyrics, you’re lost because you can’t hear a word.  I was able to hear one word all night last night and that was “Chicago”.  I just don’t understand paying money for something when the music sounds so much better at home.

Pop quiz, hotshot.  How do you get 4,500 white people to congregate in one place?  Throw a Flogging Molly concert, apparently.  I have never seen a more homogenous mass of humanity since the Tea Party rallies.  What is it about Celtic punk music with its foot stomping beats and its mosh pits filled with shaved headed, jackboot wearing, tattooed, young white kids that keep people of color away?  Oh…

I usually stay as far away from mosh pits as possible when attending a concert.  This time, though, the mosh pit opened up right next to me.  There is a really strange honor code that goes on in a mosh pit.  The goal seems to be to flail around wildly and run into other people as much as possible and as hard as possible.  People on the sides of the mosh pit are responsible for pushing the moshers back into the pit.  And by pushing, I mean elbowing.  When someone inevitably falls down, though, a fellow mosher is usually there in no time flat to help the man up.  Its as if they want to hurt each other as much as possible but only if they are standing.

The concert was also attended by the two year old godson of the lead singer, Dave King.  I can only assume that his parents really don’t want him to hear anything past five years old.

Top Ten Worst Christmas Songs

If you go out anywhere, you have undoubtedly been subject to more than your fair share of Christmas songs.  Everyone seems to play Christmas songs for the month prior to Christmas.  Everyone.  Most songs are mediocre, some are good, a lot are bad.  Here are my ten worst Christmas songs in no particular order.

  1. Do They Know it’s Christmas – Band Aid 1984 – What do you get when you get 80’s rockers to make a really condescending song with crappy synth and strange bells.  Yes, that’s exactly what Africans who don’t celebrate Christmas want, to know it’s Christmas.
  2. Wonderful Christmas Time – Paul McCartney – Acid.  That is the only excuse I can think of for poor Paul.  He must have been tripping on acid.  Simply wanting to blow my brains out after listening to this song.
  3. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer – Elmo & Patsy – Ok, I will admit to liking this filth as a child.  And it does have a certain charm to it.  But egads, this did not age well at all.  I mostly want to scratch my ears out when this song comes on.
  4. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas – Gayla Peevey – Again, at least it’s a clever song.  Clever does not equate to good, though.  My cousin is sure to inflict this abortion of a song upon us every Christmas Eve.  She secretly hates us all.  Or, I guess, not so secretly.
  5. Last Christmas – Wham! – Entry number two for George Michael. He was also in Band Aid 1984.  If you need further proof that he hates Christmas, you must also disbelieve evolution.  All the proof is there, you just need to open your eyes.
  6. Dominic the Italian Christmas Donkey – Lou Monte – It’s not racist because it’s sung by an Italian.  This song validates every Jersey Shore stereotype.  No, the two have nothing to do with each other, but this song is bad enough to denigrate an entire nationality.
  7. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – Jimmy Boyd – Ignore the fact that this is a pretty creepy song in general.  Ok, that’s really hard to ignore.  Let’s just assume that Santa is actually the kid’s dad.  The kid doesn’t seem terribly surprised that mommy is kissing someone else, just that it’s Santa Claus.  Maybe the kid should ask for a paternity test for Christmas.  And the voice!  Ugh, the voice!
  8. Christmas Shoes – Newsong – I’m pretty sure this song is about a grifter child getting a mark to buy him a new pair of Michael Jordans.  Prepared speech, dying mom, all the signs are there.  But let’s assume momma is dying.  This song is Christian mercy at its best.  Buy a kid a useless pair of shoes to make yourself feel better instead of inquiring more about what is wrong with momma.  If the kid’s poor, momma probably just needs a visit to the doctor.  You’re probably against universal healthcare too, aren’t you?
  9. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth – Melissa Lynn – All I want for Christmas is to never hear this song again.
  10. I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday – Wizzard – This has to be a joke.  If your goal, Wizzard, was to make people never want to celebrate Christmas again, mission accomplished.  Paul McCartney may have been on acid when he crated Wonderful Christmas Time, but these guys must have been mixing multiple drugs to come up with this abomination.  And whoever allowed their children in the same room as Wizzard must really be bad parents.

Yes, You Do Know Who Dave Brubeck Is

When I commented that Dave Brubeck died last week, my brother commented, “I don’t know who Dave Brubeck is.”

Dave Brubeck is one of those musicians that even if you don’t know his name, you know him.  When people say they like jazz, they usually mean that they like Dave Brubeck.  He is the man that brought jazz to the masses.  Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair!