Category Archives: Random Musings

This Is My 100th Post

100 posts and 104 unique visitors all in about a month of blogging.  I’ve had visitors from India, Sweden, Japan, Australia, Greece, South Africa, England, Germany, and Latvia.  You know you’ve made it when you’ve got Latvia.

I think it’s time to think about the future of the blog a bit.  Lots of little improvements need to be made.  I’d like to get a banner graphic and perhaps a background image.  For all you regular readers out there, if you read something that you actually enjoy, please consider sharing it with your friends.  I’m interested in getting actual conversations going on some of the things that I talk about.  Maybe I can make this a side job that actually makes some money.  Yeah, that’s right, one month in and I’m already having delusions of grandeur.

That is all.  We now return you to your regularly scheduled banal blog posts.

Bah, Humbug

My friend Katie is at it again in her quixotic quest to make sure everyone’s happy all the time.  It’s an admirable goal and I can’t fault her methods.  If there’s anyone who can achieve that goal, it’s probably her.  You’re right, Katie, the world certainly SHOULD jump up and down in excitement a whole lot more than it does.

As anytime there is too much happiness and common sense in one post, though, my thoughts turn to the darker side.  You must be happy at Christmas.  You.  Yes, you.  Why aren’t you happy?  It’s Christmas!  Oh, you’re not a Christian?  Well, you don’t have to be Christian to celebrate Christmas!  Anyway, Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a philosophy!  What, still not happy?  But look at all you have to be thankful for!  Still not happy?  I don’t understand.  You must be one of those people that just gives off negative energy.  My therapist told me to avoid people like you.  Merry Christmas!

I exaggerate for effect.  There really is a pressure on people to be happy during the holidays, though. This is not good for the psyche.  If you aren’t happy and you think you should be happy, you are much more likely to make choices you think will make you happy instead of choices that are good for you.  I am convinced that somewhere out there is a psychological report that says the best time to fire employees is during the Christmas holidays because studies show that people will be more accepting of the result because of the pressure to be thankful for all that you have during the holidays.

There is no reason to be happy during Christmas in particular.  If you’re not happy, don’t be!  Just as much shit happens in our lives during the Christmas holiday as any other time in our lives.  Just as many babies are born.  Just as many friends die.  Just as many hearts are broken.  Just as many loves are found.

Be happy because there are things to be happy about.  Be sad because there are things to be sad about.  Don’t be happy because people tell you you should be happy.  And don’t be sad because you can’t currently think of anything to be happy about.  Be who you are and apologize to no one.  Unless you’re an asshole.  No one likes an asshole.

Things You Never Think Of

What do trains do in the winter in places where snow can be piled as high as the cab?  Why, attach a snow blower to the front, of course!  Bonus Dune reference by PZ Myers included.

Who Are The People In Your Neighborhood?

Say you were able to choose your neighbors.  Who would be the people that you meet when you’re walking down the street each day be?  Mine would include:

Neil deGrasse Tyson

Ta-Nehisi Coates

Neal Stephenson

Bill Nye

John Irving

Phil Plait

the whole Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe crew (in one house)

Pat Conroy

Barack Obama

Warren Buffett

Ira Glass

Paul Krugman

Elizabeth Warren

Roger Ebert – RIP

Tim Minchin

Just to name a few.  That’s right, friends and family, none of you make the cut.  You all need to become more interesting.  At least win a Nobel Prize.  Sheesh.  Slackers.

Kiwi!

A line from last night’s “The Daily Show” reminded me of one of my favorite YouTube videos.  I present to you…Kiwi!

 

So much beauty in only three minutes.  Brings a tear to my eye every time.  Every time.

Being an Introvert

Hi, I’m Jean-Paul and I am an introvert.

It’s not easy being an introvert.  We are a misunderstood and maligned group.  Ok, maybe maligned is a little too strong.  We’re definitely misunderstood, though.

Society has determined the being introverted is decidedly uncool.  You don’t see any shows or movies about introverts.  Admittedly, a reality TV show about a house full of introverts would be exceptionally boring:

Introvert 1: *grabs book and goes to bedroom to read*

Introvert 2: *grabs computer and goes to living room to surf the Internet*

(hours pass)

Introvert 1: *wanting company, decides to read in living room*

Introvert 2: *wanting food* Pizza?

Introvert 1: Sounds good. *goes back to reading*

Introvert 2: OK.  *orders pizza*

Introvert 1: Drink?

Introvert 2: Beer.

Introvert 1: OK.  *brings back two beers*

Introvert 2: *grabs beer and smiles at Introvert 1* Thanks.

(doorbell rings)

Introvert 2: *answers door and brings pizza to living room*  You owe me $5.

Introvert 1: *pulls out wallet and pays Introvert 1*  Bam, $5.  Mmm, sausage and pepperoni…  *grabs piece of pizza and goes back to reading*

Introvert 2: *grabs piece of pizza and goes back to surfing*

That’s about how most people see introverts.  But there is so much subtext to the above conversation that you have to be an introvert to understand.  We live in the exact same world as you, but we process it completely differently.  Words are more a means of expressing ideas and meaning than they are a means of expressing feeling and filling awkward silences.  The actual conversation with subtext goes something like this:

Introvert 1: Finally home!  Am I exhausted!  It seems like everyone wanted to talk to me at work today.  Time to recharge and get some me time.  *grabs book and goes to bedroom to read*

Introvert 2: Finally home!  I’m going to a party later so I better recharge and fill my mind with fun facts so I have interesting things to talk about.  *grabs computer and goes to living room to surf the Internet*

(hours pass)

Introvert 1: *wanting company, decides to read in living room*  I wonder what Introvet 2 is up to…   Ah, that’s right, he’s going to that party later today; must be finding interesting topics to talk about.  I hope he doesn’t invite me to tag along, my recently ex-girlfriend is going to be there and I don’t think I could take that right now.

Introvert 2: Ah, there’s Introvert 1.  He’s actually looking happy today.  That’s good.  He’s been so broken up about his girlfriend breaking up with him.  It’s too bad she’s going to be at the party tonight otherwise I’d invite him to come along.  Speaking of which, I should probably eat something before I go.  *wanting food* Pizza?

Introvert 1: My favorite!  Introvert 2 has been such a good friend since my girlfriend left me and he knows I can’t go to the party tonight so he’s ordering my favorite food.  I hope he gets sausage and pepperoni.  Sounds good. *goes back to reading*

Introvert 2: OK.  *orders pizza*  I know he likes sausage and pepperoni so I’ll get that even though I’d prefer mushrooms and black olives.

Introvert 1: I should get him pre-gaming a little bit so maybe he’ll have to courage to talk to that girl he likes tonight instead of actively trying to avoid her like a idiot.  Drink?

Introvert 2: I should pre-game a little bit so maybe I’ll have to courage to talk to that girl I like tonight instead of actively trying to avoid her like an idiot.  Beer.

Introvert 1: OK.  Let’s see, which one has the highest alcohol content…  Ah, there we go.  *brings back two beers*

Introvert 2: Ah, the one with the highest alcohol content.  Smart move.  I see what you’re trying to do, Introvert 1, and I appreciate it greatly.  *grabs beer and smiles at Introvert 1* Thanks.

(doorbell rings)

Introvert 2: *answers door and brings pizza to living room*  You owe me $5.  (Occasionally, there is no subtext.)

Introvert 1: He got my favorite pizza.  I am so lucky to have a friend as conscientious as him.  I will repay him with an Emeril reference followed by a Simpsons reference since I know he likes them both.  *pulls out wallet and pays Introvert 1*  Bam, $5.  Mmm, sausage and pepperoni…  *grabs piece of pizza and goes back to reading*

Introvert 2: Wow, he quoted two of my favorite TV characters and used two TV references in seven words.  I’ll have to see if I can beat that.  *grabs piece of pizza and goes back to surfing*

Extroverts speak with words.  Introverts speak with actions.  This is, of course, oversimplifying it a little bit, but it holds true quite often. Whoever first coined the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ was almost assuredly an introvert.

Introverts are also perfectly comfortable with silence.  Our brains are much happier entertaining themselves than engaging in a “crazy weather we’re having” conversation.  And if you do decide to get into a “crazy weather we’re having” conversation with an introvert, don’t be surprised if you get a “Well, actually, this weather is quite normal for this time of year.  The temperature today is perfectly average and even though it’s raining quite heavily right now, we’ve been in a bit of a rain deficit this month so, statistically, we’d expect an event such as this to occur to bring us up to the average monthly totals.”  It’s not that we’re trying to make you uncomfortable or prove that we’re smarter than you.  We really just don’t see the point of commenting on the weather unless you really wanted to have a conversation about the weather.

Even though many times we seem anti-social, we really need and crave social contact just as much as you extroverts.  As this comic very succinctly points out, though, social contact gives energy to extroverts and takes energy from extroverts.  This makes it very hard for us to seek out social contact when there are too many unknowns involved with said contact.  This also makes introverts good party throwers, though.  You can be assured that there will be plenty of interesting people even though it looks as if the introvert spends more time making sure everyone’s having a good time than enjoying himself.

Almost everyone needs to be alone sometimes and almost everyone enjoys being alone sometimes.  Introverts prefer being alone most of the time.  If you exclaim with excitement, “I’m going to go out drinking with my friends!” even once a year, you’re probably more extroverted than introverted.  This is not a bad thing, but you should remember those times when you need to be alone with your thoughts and how you feel when people interrupt those thoughts.  That’s how introverts feel most of the time.

Being an introvert means almost always taking the back stage to the extrovert.  We’re fine with that.  And don’t worry, extroverts, we are almost certainly not plotting to take over society.  And we definitely don’t have a manifesto.  And we are 100% guaranteed not subtly manipulating you to reveal more about yourself than you meant to reveal.  Now tell me all about how you are really an introvert.  Those are some good points.  Please continue.

Adventures in Non-Euclidean Geometry

My prior post on the shape of the universe got me thinking about spheres.  Spheres are difficult shapes to wrap your head around.  Luckily, we don’t really have to worry about them that often.  Unless, that is, you happen to be a pilot.

Most of our interaction with the concept of the Earth is in the form of a map.  Maps literally warp our view of the Earth, though.  They are a Euclidean representation of a non-Euclidean space.  Three dimensions projected onto a two dimensional object.  This works fine for extremely small sections of the globe like if you wanted to travel from one state to an adjoining state, just like Newtonian physics is fine for constant gravity and much slower than light velocities.  For larger sections of the globe, though, this will lead you to make very poor travelling decisions if you are using a map.  Those straight lines on the map are not straight on a globe.  No lines are straight on a globe.

How do pilots get around this?  Enter the Great Circle.  The math behind a great circle calculation is pretty complicated so let’s ignore the math for another day and wrap our head around the idea of a great circle.

In order to find the shortest path from point A to point B on a globe, you must find the great circle solution.  The great circle solution is simply the one circle that you can draw around the globe that does two things.  First, it must go through both point A and Point B.  And second, the circle must bisect the exact center of the globe.  That circle will have a unique property.  It’s diameter will always be the diameter of the globe.

The most obvious example of a great circle is the Equator.  If you wanted to travel the shortest distance between two points on the Equator, you’d always travel along the Equator to get there.  That is the only latitude line on Earth that can be a great circle solution.

Less obvious of an example is travelling from the North Pole to anywhere south.  No matter where you want to travel to, your great circle solution will travel through the South Pole.  This means that you will always travel along one of the longitudinal lines to get to your destination.  That’s right, every line of longitude is a great circle solution.

Now that you have two points on a sphere and you know the sphere’s diameter, you have everything that you need to figure out the great circle route.  Now all you have to do is the math.

OMG! Todd Akin Was Right!

Trigger warning:  Sarcastic mocking of Republicans and their views on rape ahead.  Also, really bad humor.

While writing my previous post about shutting that whole thing down while dreaming, I got into a bit of a link clicking vortex.  What I found will astound you.

Almost everybody is aware of Todd Akin’s views of rape:

From what I understand from doctors, [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

Poor Todd just got a little confused.  This is just the new Fundamentalist Christian rape test for determining if a woman is a witch.  Because, guess what animal does have a way of shutting that whole thing down during a rape?  Pigs?  No.  Lemmings?  No.  Really small otters?  No.   A duck!  Exactly!  And so logically, if you rape a woman and she doesn’t become pregnant…

Then she’s a witch!  BURN HER!

Shutting That Whole Thing Down

Last night, I had a dream.  Either this was one of those incredibly simple dreams or I only remember the simple part.  In it, I was rinsing my mouth out.  That’s it.  That was the entire dream.  Or almost the entire dream.  You see, then in my dream, I spit.  And that woke me up.  Because I had just spit all over my arm.

Now, unlike during a rape, this is a legitimate time when the body is supposed to shut that whole thing down.  Me spitting on myself, sleepwalking, jumping out a window; none of these things are supposed to happen when you’re asleep.  The body, it turns out, doesn’t always get things right.  During rapid eye movement (or REM) sleep, the body releases neurotransmitters that prevent the muscles from acting out all those fun dreams. REM sleep, though, is a stage of sleep that happens just before and just after waking.  The boundaries can get a little blurry sometimes.  So if you go from REM sleep to waking at a particularly jarring moment in your dream, you can actually act out that part.  In the case of this dream, I spit on myself.

I had a long, complicated dream once where I was getting chased by a werewolf and it ended with him grabbing me by the shoulder from behind and spinning me around.  I woke up at that moment with a pain in my shoulder.  I didn’t think much of it and went back to sleep.  The next morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror and I had these three scratch marks along the front of my shoulder.  The werewolf was real!  Or I had just scratched myself.  Definitely one of the two.

What We Have Here is a Failure to Empathize

A study from a few years ago shows that college kids are forty percent less empathetic than their counterparts from twenty or thirty years ago.  This is incredibly disheartening.  Not only because forty percent less empathy is a severe drop, but because I am from their counterpart group from twenty years ago and I can tell you, there ain’t much empathy in my generation either.

There are all sorts of suggested causes for the drop:  Social media, video games, increased exposure to media, being too busy.  I don’t buy any of these.  I think if they did a study of all ages, they’d find that the United States as a whole as dropped forty percent in empathy.

The United States has developed a really bizarre form of tribalism.  We spend our teenage years torn between wanting to be an individual and needing to belong to a group.  Most of the time, the need overpowers the want and we give up our individuality and ability to be introspective in order to belong to a group.  But once we’re in a group, a strange dynamic occurs.  We don’t concern ourselves with the daily sufferings of our fellow members.  Instead, we focus all our energy on maintaining the existence of the group.  Any criticism of the group thus results in an all-out-of-proportion backlash on said critics.  It doesn’t matter how pertinent this criticism may be, a wave of anger and hatred must rise up to smash down on any mortal who dare question the group.  And woe to the member of the group who dares question her own!

The best defense against falling into this sort of tribalism is to question yourself.  It sounds like an easy thing to do, but we are best at lying to ourselves.  We have all had those moments in life where we look back on an event and say to ourselves, “What was I thinking?”  But we somehow never make the connection that we are lying to ourselves.  So, when we question ourselves, it’s also important to then ask if we are being truthful with ourselves too.

This, I believe, is where the old adage “the truth shall set you free” comes from.  It’s not learning the truth about people or places or things.  It’s learning the truth about yourself.  Know yourself and you shall know enlightenment.