You’ve probably heard by now that Lance Armstrong has finally admitted to the world (via Oprah, no less) that he has been doping for years.  Shocking.  I wish there was a way to easily express droll non-surprise in words.

I could’t care less about Armstrong’s taking of drugs to give himself the edge in a pointless sport where everyone is also using the same drugs.  I also couldn’t care less about lying about it for years.  Lying is what humans do and no one is immune to it.  What makes Lance Armstrong the worst person in the world is the vicious campaign of smears and intimidation that he initiated to protect his lies.  What kind of sick person does that?

And please don’t try to whitewash how horrible Armstrong is by pointing to all the great things he did for cancer through his cancer foundation.  First, his foundation is mostly about raising money and little actually goes to cancer research.  Second, he used his cancer status and his foundation as a shield and a weapon against anyone who would dare do a simple thing like speak the truth against him.  Third, the amount of good you do does not justify the evil you cause while doing it.  Drug dealers build playgrounds.  Financial swindlers donate to charity. Koch brothers fund science research.

Sadly, what Armstrong does is all too common.  He just takes a page from an everyday political playbook.  Want to protect your financial interests?  Attack climate scientists with misinformation and lies.  Want to promote your religion?  Attack those who teach and promote evolution.  The more I see, the more I pay attention, the more I believe that any person in any seat of power is a complete sociopath.

I was out for dinner the other day and who do I see next to me but a man that looks like a combination of Hitler and Don Draper.  He had Don Draper’s head shape and hair style and a really weird mustache that was thick in the middle and very sparse on the sides.  This made it look like a Hitler mustache.  A Hitler mustache is not a good look for Don Draper.  He was pretty creepy looking.  It looked like he was on a date too.  I can only assume that he killed her.

Witness Apollo Robbins in action.  He is considered one of the best pickpockets in the world.  It looks like he uses his arts for good instead of evil, but I’m not sure we’d ever be able to tell.

One of the many good things about being forced to take the two weeks that comprise Christmas and New Years off is that those are easily the dreariest two weeks of the year for going to work.  The Sun is at its minimum life span in the sky if it decides to show its face at all and the weather is usually cold and snowy.  I get to completely bypass those foul yearly occurrences.  And when I go back to work today, I am greeted with a light sky in the morning and a light sky in the evening.  Sure, it’s already dark by the time I get home, but some Sun is certainly better than none.  It really is amazing how much a little sunlight can alter one’s mood for the better.

Adobe, out of the kindness of their “we’re sick of maintaining our activation servers for a 10 year old piece of software” hearts has decided to give away Photoshop and Creative Suite 2 for free.  Yes, it’s a little outdated, but it still has everything at least 90% of you out there need for your image editing needs.  Score!

My internet has been out almost all day today.  It’s back now, but it keeps cutting in and out at inopportune times.  I was planning to watch the last few episodes of Deep Space Nine on my last day before heading back to the job, but alas, that doesn’t seem likely.  I am being punished for enjoying my two weeks off too much.

It really is amazing how dependent on the internet our society has become.  Games require the internet.  Movies require the internet.  Information requires the internet.  Communication requires the internet.  I wonder what would happen to society if the internet collapsed and the cellular phone infrastructure collapsed at the same time.  Mass hysteria, that’s what!  I might actually have to get to know my neighbors if that happened.  Perish the thought!

Today is my last day of staycation.  In the last two weeks, I have pretty much avoided all news.  This has been partially by choice and partially by not wanting to read tens of thousands of words about the “fiscal cliff”.  It was tempting, at times, to visit my favorite blogs and read about the latest stupid coming out of D.C., but every time I got that urge I watched an episode of “Deep Space Nine” instead.

That all ends Monday, though.  It’s back to to the salt mines.  Back to making money.  Back to being informed on current events.  Back to blogging about stuff that actually matters.  In my mind, anyway.

It was a good vacation while it lasted.  As all vacations are.  With a few tweaks, I wouldn’t mind doing it full time.  Real jobs are sooooo overrated.

No, not in THAT way.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Well, that way too, but stay focused here.

Have you ever given yourself a neck massage or head massage or a foot massage?  It feels pretty good.  It’s a decent way to work out tension and loosen up.  But when someone else does it, it feels amazing!  There is something in our DNA that requires us to seek out physical contact.

And it’s not just humans.  Anyone that  has a pet knows that animals are the same.  I could pet my cat for hours and she will just sit and purr all day long.  And when I’m not petting her, she can often be found plopped down next to me with her back against my leg and literally straddling my arm.

The mere act of physical contact has been proven to lessen pain and reduce stress in most individuals.  I think that’s why so many people think that things like chiropractic work even though there has been tons of studies that it doesn’t work any better than placebo.  The needles do nothing.  There was a study that I can’t find the link for now that had half the people get normal chiropractic therapy and the other half someone pretending to put needles in random areas of the body and the results were exactly the same!  The human contact and social interaction with an individual willing to listen to your problems performs the miracles.

I’m sure that it has something to do with endorphins being released from contact or some such neurological cause, but does it really matter?  It feels good and it makes others feel good (when consentual).  So reach out and consentually touch some today!

Besides familial commitments and a party or two, I have absolutely nothing to do for two weeks.  It’s a good feeling.  Not that my life can, by any stretch of the imagination, be considered difficult, but I cannot describe how much I’ve been looking forward to this.

Everyone should have two weeks a year of doing absolutely nothing.  Not vacation.  Just nothing.  What would you fill the time with?  Me?  I plan on a little merry making, a little reading, a little gaming, and a whole lot of vegetating.

Blog post in which I complain about going stir crazy in five…four…three…two…one.

“How about we go back to my place and I help you prevent breast cancer?”

Courtesy of a new study that claims that squeezing breasts can help prevent breast cancer.  I find this study suspicious, but I don’t care if it ends up being debunked, I’m still going to use it.